What The Feck ?!

About The Blog ;

i started this blog as a personal outlet for myself. i realized that i have a lot of opinions, & being the blunt person that i am, id rather not keep them to myself.
i'm simply here to vent & start discussions.
i encourage you all to comment with your own personal thoughts, since
"everyone's entitled
to their own opinions".
but don't take anything on here TOO personally,
or else you just might end up as my next entry. (:

About Me ♥ ;

As you can probably tell by the URL, yes, i am korean.
so dont flip out on me, about being racist.
WHICH i am, but still..
. . . anyway, as an inside joke between friends, & as a "little known fact",
i do believe that koreans have bad tempers.
& i am no exception.

i am Stephanie,
an angry young woman,
who takes pride in voicing her opinions.
i graduated with a PHD in sarcasm, and ive received the Stubborn award in 1990.
please, do not ask for autographs or pictures, without money offers.

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Blog Archive ;

January 2011
February 2011
March 2011

Saturday, February 5, 2011

A Lighter Pocket & Heavier Heart ;

This isnt really a rant, but something happened this afternoon, and it hasnt left my mind,
the woman i met earlier today stayed in my mind throughout my day,
so ive decided i will write about it.

I dropped by one of my favorite places today; the Michael's Art & Crafts store, and i bought a few pens, fancy papers, containers, & ribbons, which i needed for a few up coming birthdays & Valentines Day.
Anyway, after i paid for my things, i slipped on my sunglasses, stepped out of the store, and headed to my little silver Jetta. Standing near it, there was a woman wearing a frayed, flowered sun-dress, a knitted purple shawl, & she had an extremely distraught look on her face, so distraught that she was red in the face, and the rim of her eyes were red & wet from holding back tears.
i have to admit, it caught me off guard to see someone looking like this in the middle of a parking lot, but i purposely slowed down my pace, and continued to walk towards my car, knowing that would make it easier for her to confront me.
As i expected, we made eye contact, and she hesitantly walked over to me, clutching something small in her hand, but before i could ask if she was okay, she said "Im so embarrassed, im so sorry to interrupt your day, but, i have 3 kids, i lost my home, and ive been living in a motel with my children but i dont have enough money to spend another night, and i just cant let my children sleep on the- " and with an incomplete sentence, her lower lip started to tremble and i could see her eyes watering again through my sunglasses.
i knew what she was asking for and i didnt have to hear the rest of her sentence to know where she was getting at, so i told her that i do have a few dollars for her, and i opened my purse, pulled out my wallet and handed her the first few bills that i touched, in my hands i saw i was passing her two 5's & a dollar.
I cant explain the look on her face, not in words atleast, but she started to cry and instead of saying the usual "God Bless you" or "Thank you so much" like the other homeless people ive come across, she instead said, "Im so sorry, im so embarrassed, im really sorry.. Please, let me give you something in return." Then i saw the thing she was holding in her hands was a worn old coupon book, i told her its really nothing, and i wished her the best of luck, & as i turned to walk away, i remembered i have an address and phone number for a women & childrens home. (i use to devote a couple hours a week for the disabled and other community services, and i still get emails from them attached with an address & contact number.) I asked her to wait, and i pulled out my Michael's receipt and newly bought pen, and continued to write down the nearest home for her, while explaining to her that its a home meant for women and children only, and that they would help her get on her feet.
When i capped my pen, and looked up to hand it to her, she was smiling with tears down her face.
It seemed like she hadnt smiled in awhile, her lips cracked with blood from it, but it was truly a genuine smile, & even without a word between us, i knew she was grateful of this simple helping gesture.
i walked away then & there, hoping it might spare some of her dignity.

From my rearview mirror i saw her disappear between the rows of parked cars, and i continued to follow through with my agenda & headed over to Costco to fill up on gas. As always, their lines were massive, and so, i rolled down my windows, cranked up some music and enjoyed the warm 65 degree Cali winter sunset. But as i sat there, waiting in line, that woman kept coming to mind.
i was so deep in thought that i hadnt realized a commercial for penis enlargement pills were blaring through my speakers, until a couple of white teenage girls in an old chevy laughed, and a mexican-gangster cholo dude looked over at me with his black sunglasses.

4 comments

Chris said...: That was really nice of you Stephanie.; February 7, 2011 at 3:35 PM
Susiesaurus said...: Tuggin on the heartstrings, m'dear

Sometimes there isn't anything you can do. That you were able to offer that extra information about housing must've meant the world to her.; February 7, 2011 at 9:51 PM
wilson leung said...: Damnnn..thats really nice of you stephy!! Ppl wid such a gud heart are rare these days...everybody jz dink for themselves~ Im proud of you.:); February 7, 2011 at 10:55 PM
Stephanie said...: Thanks for these really thoughtful comments guys,
but really, it wasnt anything.
i just gave her an extra minute of my time.

i really hope shes doing better, than the last time i saw her :/; February 7, 2011 at 11:03 PM

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